Vacation Notes
Dear Friends,
I really didn’t expect a book to smack in the face the same way “7” did – but then I remembered that I’ve had Brene Brown’s book for MONTHS now and have been avoiding it. Why? Because she talks about vulnerability and growth and living a wholehearted life and to read that books means:
1. Admitting I’m not vulnerable and need to grow in that area
2. Become vulnerable
There are sections of vulnerability I get. I understand the need for it and the beauty of it within my relationships with my closest friends. I LOVE vulnerability for other people. It helps you connect and grow and move through where you are to where you are going. I often think of vulnerability as “reading my journal out loud” – it exposes you to a point, creates dialogue and you learn a lot. Now vulnerability is a lot more than that too..
Brene talks about how “The Wholehearted identify vulnerability as the catalyst for courage, compassion and connection.”
A catalyst. I can promise you I’ve never looked it at that way. But I suppose it’s true.
Right now vulnerability is making me grouchy. I was in the worst mood today. Because I don’t want to be vulnerable yet I want a whole life, I want courage, I want to be compassionate and I want connection. So ugh. Vulnerability.
This quote from her book (on like page 2…bless my heart) could have been taken straight from my brain (well the thinking parts)
“Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.“
I really hadn’t planned for this to be one of my lessons for the year – funny how that happens. (funny ha ha not funny lol)
Here’s how vulnerability makes me feel
- grouchy
- like I want to vomit
- way too many feels (because you realize the ones you try not to feel)
- the opposite of brave
hahahah in sum…. I’m a little crazed this week while sorting through this. I keep laughing and asking Jesus why we have to learn this right now. I’ll let you know when I figure out that answer.
In the meantime here’s a glimpse at my day:
- Listened to Chris Stapleton on repeat all day.
- Wrote a comment on my mom’s Facebook about how crazy political people drive me crazy. Their lack of time actually solving problems and helping people infuriates me. I should prob delete it but I am pretty confident I will not.
- Was humbled by a workout that a year ago I would have crushed
- Had to be very real about the issues with worthiness I apparently have (more to come on this, but rest assured it has nothing to do with my childhood b/c I had the most fabulous, loving parents)
- Deleted a handful of people from my newsfeed (don’t worry I’m still friends with them I just can’t handle their wrap sales or dramatic updates anymore)
Whoop Whoop. What a year already.
#TheProcessIsOurFriend
What major lessons are you learning this year?
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