LoveJodyLynn | There’s 20 More Days of This?

I’m 10 days into my first month of “7” – if you aren’t sure what it is go google Jen Hatmaker 7 and prepare to feel all the feels and start asking yourself big questions about the way you send your time and resources.

This month I’m on a spending freeze. I can buy food, from the store. I almost quit this week. I kept hearing my trainer’s voice in the back of my head “Fail to plan and plan to fail” as I had clearly failed to plan for the day and was in the middle of a pep talk to not pass out from what I like to call hunger. That if I was really honest was probably not that bad – but dramatic Jody is in full swing when I hit 1/4 tank on my food.

I had about 3% of will power left to try to get me home instead of driving through somewhere for food. I texted 2 people – both I knew would tell me to go home and suck it up. I drove the long way home to avoid the temptations of the golden arches. That was the worst moment so far.

Otherwise so far this freeze has been refreshing. It’s made me enjoy the moments that I get to gift someone with some (yes I kept part of my gift budget – back off) because there is simple nothing I can gain from it except the fun of giving it. It’s made me think really hard – is it breaking the rules if it’s not my money? How many times can I use that kind of thinking before I muddy up this whole process? I’ve questioned people who want to buy my coffee or meal “Would you want to do that if I wasn’t on a freeze?” No? Then no thank you, I need to do without.

So far – the worst part is- being responsible. HA! We think sometimes that being able to go and spend on a moment’s notice is a sign of responsibility “I have a job, I have the money, look at me go I’m responsible” But what I’ve found is it take way more responsibility for me to set myself up to win each day without relying on that paycheck to just swipe away any time I want it. I have to eat multiple times a day, and with the schedule I have right now I need to have that planned and packed early on in the day or it won’t happen.

I don’t know what all will come of this, but so far it’s forcing me to slow down and look ahead.

EDIT::: I wrote this post this morning —- and then about 777,777,777 times today I thought about quitting because it was a day when all the things that could go wrong went wrong. Thus – I’m discovering that I’m an emotional spender and eater. LAME. Time to get it together and bring it back to me….uh I mean pull those emotions into check because there is so much and so many to be thankful for.